How to Navigate Wedding Planning During the COVID-19 Crisis

It’s okay to grieve the loss of the wedding day you imagined.

Not only that, but it’s also okay to grieve the loss of your wedding planning experience that has been turned upside down by all of this. I know some couples have been able to keep their wedding date, but they may have had to cancel their bachelor/bachelorette parties, their bridal showers, and other special celebrations.

It’s okay to be a little sad, scared, disappointed, or straight up mad. You have spent so much time, energy, and money planning your dream day. It’s okay for your family and friends to feel disappointment too, as they’ve been on this journey with you and shared many of the same emotions and excitement leading up to your big day.

And through it all, most couples have so much compassion for how this is affecting their vendors, and so much integrity to do the right thing and postpone their weddings for the health and safety of their guests. It’s both touching and heartbreaking to hear couples have so much concern for others while also processing all the emotions of postponing their wedding.

If you’re dealing with this right now, just know you’re not alone. As wedding professionals, we are here to help you navigate all of this. As a wedding planner, this is literally why I exist - to help you create a Plan B, Plan C, and so on until all of this is over. Until we get you down the aisle and until you are celebrating at the best dang party ever. Because no matter what, your wedding is going to happen! It may look a little different than originally planned, but it will still be the most magical day and you’ll still be married to your best friend. And what a story you’ll have to share with your kids and grandkids!

We’re all in this together, figuring it out by the minute as much as you are. The CDC is rolling out guidelines, but cities/counties/states are also creating rules for events. Pay attention to the city/county that affects the rules in your area. Even if your city/county is allowing events below a certain guest count, it’s very possible that your venue has decided not to host events, especially if they are a bar or restaurant.

Below are some tips to help navigate your wedding planning during this crisis. As always, please be sure to refer to the CDC website for the most up-to-date information regarding gatherings.

Communication is key.
Communicate with your vendors. Read your contracts and make sure you understand their policies around cancellation or rescheduling.
Reach out to companies about any pending orders, especially your bridal gown, bridesmaids dresses, etc., as the designers are often located out of the country.
Communicate with your guests. Send a mass communication so you don’t have to answer as many one-off questions (I know how mentally exhausting that can be and it only adds more stress to the situation). Ask your family and bridal party to help with individual outreach to guests, so you don’t have to take it all on alone.
It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers for them right now. Tell them you are monitoring the situation closely and working closely with your vendors, and you will let them know when you have more details.
If you do need to change your wedding date, you can send “Change the Date” postcards or email invites! Choose something bright and cheery to bring a little sunshine to the situation.
Be flexible.
Your wedding may need to change a little from the vision you originally imagined. But what if we imagine it’s even better than you envisioned? What if that flower you loved wasn’t going to be in season, but now you’ve changed your date and your florist can make it a statement in your bouquet? What if some of your guests cannot make it to the wedding now (which is a major bummer I know), but now you will have a more intimate reception and more time to interact with all of your guests?
Like I said earlier, it’s okay to be sad and frustrated, but then we need to look for the silver linings, together.
Take care of yourself individually.
I know this whole situation can sometimes make us feel like sinking into the deepest depths of our couches for the rest of time, but it’s important to keep taking care of yourself. Make sure to get enough sleep, exercise, drink lots of water, journal, FaceTime your bridal party… take care of your physical, mental, and spiritual health.
Continue to date as a couple.
This is a great piece of advice from my friend Stephanie at Stephanie Wood Photography. Continue to go on dates as a couple, even if it means throwing down a blanket in the living room and having a quarantine picnic. Dance in the kitchen, play board games, create a date night bucket list with places to visit when we can go outside again… Don’t let this season steal your joy. Remember how amazingly lucky you are to go through this with your best friend, and how you will come out on the other side of this stronger together. And married!
Do your best to postpone, not cancel.
In the end, couples need to make the choice that is best for them. However, there are several reasons that postponing is a better option than canceling, from multiple perspectives. From the perspective of couples, postponing allows you to utilize the money you’ve already spent, just on a future date. If you cancel, essentially this money will just be lost.
From the perspective of your vendors, postponing is essential to allowing their businesses to thrive after this is all over. Most vendors are small-medium businesses, and they are already dealing with losing events, resources, money, time… so if you are able to consider postponing instead of canceling, your future business would mean the absolute world to them.
If no Saturday dates are available, consider a Friday or Sunday wedding.
I know Saturdays are prime real estate in the world of weddings. But what happens when you need to postpone your wedding and a Saturday isn’t available during your preferred season? You may need to consider a Friday or Sunday wedding. I actually love the idea of a Friday wedding - then you have a whole weekend to extend the celebrations! Also, I wouldn’t worry too much about your guests not being able to attend on a Friday/Sunday. You may lose a few, but for the most part your guests are still going to come and celebrate the heck out of you because they know what you went through.
Research travel insurance and wedding insurance.
When there’s still so much uncertainty, this is the perfect time to research things like travel insurance and wedding insurance. I’m not as familiar with couples getting wedding insurance, but I am happy to help research and look for people who can talk you through the process. Travel insurance is also a good idea if you planned your honeymoon in the upcoming months. We just don’t know what’s going to happen in terms of flight cancellations, border closings, etc. It’s always good to be prepared and protect the investments you’ve made.

With all that said, if we’re still able to have your wedding as planned, let’s take some precautions and make some updates. Hand sanitizer at guest tables, the bar, etc. Move from buffet dinner to plated. Perhaps we can live stream your ceremony so your guests can watch from afar. We could also ask out-of-town guests to send video messages, and we could play those at the reception. We can brainstorm all kinds of ideas depending on your unique situation.

At the end of the day, I am here for you and want you to make the best decision for you. I will encourage you to consider all recommended guidelines, and we will have conversations about what that may look like for your own wedding.

Whether you’re one of my current couples or not, please feel free to reach out to me. I am happy to help as much as I can, even if it’s just to be a sounding board.

In the words of @hestaprynnmusic, “trying to be positive because you know people will need to party AF when this is over.”

Sending lots of virtual hugs.

Sara